How to Apres Ski like a Pro

My friends ask me, “do I have to ski to après ski?” This naive inquiry comes mostly from my gal pals , who fear getting cold, hurt or embarrassed, but don’t want to miss a good party. I have decided to let them in on our “after skiing” social, since the ratio of ladies to dudes at ski resorts bars is sadly disproportionate.
However, I do encourage non-skiers, snow bunnies – lol, to make an effort to grasp the skiing lifestyle and après ski culture. Most importantly, I advise them not to start conversations with “I wish I could ski, looks fun, but it terrifies me.” Or “I hate the cold.” And “I’m afraid of heights.” That may just end the convo and the party before it starts!

Here’s a guide on how to be a good après skier!
You can join in all the fun and camaraderie over cocktails, predominantly beer, without the risk of falling on the slopes, totally avoiding the cold, heights, and the cost of a lift ticket.

To excel at après ski requires much less athletic prowess than skiing or snowboarding, you just need to balance on a bar stool, maybe navigate snowy base lodge stairs. As a non-skier, you can show up at the slope-side bar looking fresh, no helmet hair or sweaty UnderArmour, and jump in as if you have been carving cord all day.

Here are some après ski practice tips, so that you are top notch, and can fit in with your fall line friends when snow flies.

1. 1. Dress like a skier. Look like you skied even though you didn’t.
  2. No need to wear ski boots, real skiers take them off for serious après ski. Instead opt for boots like Merrill’s or LL bean boots (when in Maine). I love my Rossi après ski boots. Ladies can don furry boots, but be careful not to look to chi chi or haute-maintenance in the mountains. See our guide to looking stylish on the mountain. You are pretending you skied, not auditioning for “snow bunny”!
  3. Get yourself a prime bar stool, near the window so you can watch the descending last chair lappers. Point outside, laugh, as if that awkward guy who is actually skiing is a bigger loser than you.
  4. Tip the bartender early and enthusiastically. Remember their name, share yours. You will look like a regular, and you’ll be treated like a member of the mug-club.
  5. Bring a puppy (pet friendly bars only) and say you’re training your Dog for patrol and avalanche rescue. Wait and watch as your dog, and eventually you, receive ridiculous amounts of attention.
  6. Bring attractive friends if the puppy ploy seems staged and you don’t actually own a dog.
  7. Wear an air cast and have an epic, convincing story about your double black diamond crash that was not caught on tape – sadly. LOL!
  8. When asked about your ski day, deflect – ask them: what was your favorite trail, what do you ski on, how many millimeters under foot, how many ski days will you bag this season? Skiers love to boast.
  9. Don’t dance in your bare feet, rookie move. There are sloppy skiers in ski boots on the dance floor – ouch! Unless you are going for the “après ski injury” and sympathy vote.
    10. Don’t get hammered… that’s not pretty in any sport or season…sure, do one shot ski to cross it off your bucket list – and because it’s a fun “trust building” exercise with your new ski buddies – but know when to say when. Cheers!